Mbavha mbiri dzakaenda kudare redzimhosva mushure mekunge dzaba muchitoro.
Mutongi: Iwe wekutanga taura tinzwe wakabei?
Mbavha 1: Ndakaba gaba rehove.
Mutongi: Maiva nehove ngani?
Mbavha 1: Shanu.
Mutongi: Mazuvano tavakupa mutongo maererano nezviri mukati saka ndinokutongera makore mashanu mujere.
Mbavha 1: Kikikiki (ichipfipfinyika)
Mutongi: Ko uri kusekei?
Mbavha: Aahh! Ndiri kutoseka hangu shamwari yangu yakaba gaba rebhinzi! (nyemba)

Wadiwa Shamwari, nyakukweretesa,
Shamwari ndirikuzviziva kuti ndakakwereta kamari kako, asi tsika yokuti pawandionera ndiri pamhepo paWatsapu wonditi ‘Ko madhiri?’ haiite shaa. Kukuudza chokwadi ndakatoshaya pekuku dzivisa (blocker) napo.

Kana ukandiona kuchitoro chenyama ndichitenga nyama usabvunze mari yako nekuti pawakandipa hatina kuwirirana kuti handichadya nyama kusvikira ndakupa mari yako. KWETE. Handichinje madyiro nokuti ndine mari yako.

Tsika yako yokuti ukaona madhamu vangu vachibva tonazi vakabata pitsa wotanga kubvunza kuti baba varikufungei nemari yangu chibva waisiya hako. Ko kana mukadzi wangu atengerwa pitsa neshamwari yake zvinei newe izvozvo.

Imwe nyaya yandisiri kukupira mari yako ndeyokuti handisisina kumwe kwekukwereta nokuti vanhu vose wakavaudza kuti ndine mari yako saka hapana achada kundipa mari vachitya kuvharwa sezvandiri kukuita izvi. Rangarira, mari yawakandipa ndaida kurapisa murwere manje akabva afa saka tongoti wakatipawo chema sezvo usina kuzobvisa panhamo.

Ndini mukwereti

Chino vakapinda musupamaketi vakagumha sherefu nemisiteki zvimwe zvinhu ndokubva zvadonha. Chino vakanhonga zvinhu zviya vachidzosera pasherefu ndokubva vasiya furawa iri pasi. Mumwe akabvunza, Ko mudhara iwe unopenga here? Wasiyirei furawa iri pasi? Chino akapindura achiti, ‘Kana uri bofu zviri nani uvhare gaba rako (muromo). Hauoni here kuti yakanzi, ‘Self-raising’ nechirungu kureva kuti inozvisimudza yega.

⁠⁠⁠Mwana: Amai ndiigireiwo mvura.
Mai: Iwe simuka apo unotora wega ndinokurova
Mwana: Pamunouya kuzondirova ibvai mauya nemvura.

Fembera fembera
Baba vanoita majokosi nemwana, vasvika kumba ‘Fembera fembera kuti ndakuigirei mwanangu?’
Mwana anoti, ‘Zviwitsi.’
Dhedhi voti, ‘Nzvee ndakuigira mabhuku.’
Mwana anotiwo kuna baba vake ‘Dhedhi fembera fembera kuti pasi pemubhedha panei?’ Dhedhi, ‘Bhutsu.’
Mwana, ‘Nzvee, panasabhuku.’

Mudzidzisi: Nhasi hapana ari kuenda kumba asina kupindura mubvunzo. Tinoswera muno tese kana musina kupindura. Ari kutanga kupindura akagona ndiye achaenda kumba.
(Mudzidzisi vakabvunza mibvunzo yakaoma hapana kana mumwe akapindura. Kwapera maawa maviriTindo akatora bhegi rake akakanda nepahwindo.)
Mudzidzisi: Ndiyani akanda bhegi nepahwindo.
Tindo: Ndini! Bhaibhai vakomana tobatana Muvhuro. Wangu mubvunzo ndapindura!
⁠⁠⁠⁠

Ndiwe hako, uri bhachura. Kupera kwevhiki. Uri padheni uchibika bika. Waisa poto ine maonyeni, mafuta, matomati neroiko pachoto. Yanyatsoibva. Unobva wanzwa ‘Gogogoi!’ padhoo, wonoona kuti ndiani. Apa wasiya poto yakavhurika. Sezvineiwo madzvinyu maviri anobvawo kwaanobva achirwa odonhera mupoto iri pamoto iwe uchiri kuvhurira muyeni kudhoo. Paunovhura dhoo unobva waona bhebhi rako momhoresana nokupanana mawiramombe. Mapinda mumba unoti, ‘Bhebhi chipedzisa kubika’ uchigara pasi. Chimoko pachinonoti ba mupoto chinoona muine madzvinyu akatotsvukirira zvawo ari mumatomati. Unopuruvha sei kubhebhi pakadai kuti haudye madzvinyu?

Ambuya vari kudaidza muzukuru wavo: ‘Muzukuru hwanda mudzidzisi wako uyo arikuuya hauna kuenda kuchikoro.’
Muzukuru: ‘Hwandai imimi! Ndanga ndatumira shoko rokuti mafa, saka kutouya kuzondibata maoko uku!’